Elitism and Persecution in Spiritual Abuse

This is the fifth article in a series on spiritual abuse. Last week, I covered Lifton’s eight psychological themes and Hassan’s BITE model as ways of understanding abusive groups’ methods of manipulation and control. This week, we will explore the themes of elitism and persecution common to spiritually abusive groups.

In sociologist Ronald Enroth’s description of “elitism and persecution,” he says simply that “abusive churches see themselves as special.” This sense of being “special” is at the heart of elitism and, oftentimes, leads to a belief in these groups that they are persecuted and that the world is out to get them. This sense of persecution only adds to a group’s sense that they are special.

Elitism and persecution are traps we can fall into as individuals. When engaging with someone we disagree with online, for instance, we can quickly shift to a mindset of superiority and view the other person as only an enemy who is out to get us. We can think of ourselves as being wholly right and the other as being wholly wrong. What happens in abusive groups is that these patterns are systematized - they become part of the fabric of the organization. They become the standard. This is often because elitism and persecution-thinking make up the modus operandi for traumatic narcissists.

We've discussed elsewhere how there is typically a central, narcissistic abuser who leads cults, high demand groups, and abusive churches. Elitism and persecution fall perfectly into the make-up of the narcissist. Narcissists have a grandiose (elitist) view of themselves to compensate for their (unconscious) low self-esteem and sense of shame. This elitism leads them to two pathways: seducing (charming) others for use as their "narcissist supply" or attacking (repressing) others who the elitist narcissist views as threats.

"Narcissist supply" is a term used by psychologists and therapists to describe how a narcissist uses other people to prop up their own fragile ego. Narcissists love to surround themselves with important people or those who will dote on their needs. Therapist Daniel Shaw describes traumatic narcissists as "vampires." Shaw uses the story of Dracula as an allegory for how narcissists use other people. They "colonize" others to both offload their shame (when things go wrong, they will blame those around them) and to boost their ego (they groom others to take care of them and to praise them). Usually a narcissist alternates between seducing/charming others and attacking them, depending on their "needs" at the moment.

Interestingly, abusive groups tend to follow these same patterns. They are intent on either seducing, charming, or recruiting those outside their influence in order to get them to "join the team" or will silence and attack those who critique or oppose the group. These activities are energized by the psychology of the narcissistic leader who influences the group to see others and themselves in such limited and destructive ways.

Elitism and persecution tend to feed each other in a cycle. Elitism, by nature, is dehumanizing and disrespectful to others, because elitists view themselves as superior and others as inferior. When abusive leaders already understand themselves as essentially “begotten of God” and, as a result, think they can do no wrong, they interpret all criticisms as part of an evil plot to undo the “utopia” they are creating through their organization.

I think some of these leaders really do believe their own delusions. Shaw believes this is the case for many traumatic narcissists. In a sense, this is the only way many abusive leaders can persist in causing the harm they do - they must convince themselves that they are part of some incredible movement and deceive even themselves to continue its “progress.” In contrast, healthy, functional leaders can admit their wrongs, truly apologize, and do better ("repent"). Traumatic narcissists routinely display an inability to do these things; instead they offload the shame and blame to others in order to continue to prop up their grandiose view of themselves. Or, they issue "apologies" tinged with martyrdom and manipulation with no real behavioral change and attempt to compel the wronged persons to take care of them.

In short, traumatic narcissists and abusive groups use elitism to buffer themselves against critique and opposition that might draw their beliefs and behaviors into question. When critique and opposition materialize, whether they are real or just perceived, the group neatly dismisses them as persecution. The opposition is just another example of the group's inherent holiness, superiority, or divine mission. The opposers/outsiders are labeled "demonic," "sinners," "unenlightened," or worse.

This elitism/persecution can easily turn on those in the group if they begin to question and oppose the group's beliefs or activities. They can be silenced, dismissed, or expelled from the group if they do not step back in line with the group's methods and goals. And, despite the many ways abusive groups "dress up" their mission, they usually have one main, organizing goal: to support and supply the central narcissist.

David Koresh (the Branch Davidians) named himself the "son of God." Bhagwan Rajneesh (the Rajneeshees) was regarded as god-like and the source of infinite wisdom. Sun Myung Moon (the Moonies) was considered the Messiah and second coming of Christ. In fact, here is a whole list of people who claimed to be Jesus in the 20th century. All of these people and their associated groups displayed themes of elitism and persecution.

A pattern of this series has been to compare more extreme forms of religious abuse with more "common" or less shocking forms of spiritual abuse. So, again, many abusive groups and leaders may never make headlines like the people listed above, but the same dynamics are present in all abusive groups to some degree.

I think this way of bolstering abusive groups is unfortunately common and can be quite seductive to those in membership. It can make members feel that they are part of something special and that they have a real purpose - to combat, evangelize, or silence the "enemy." When group members begin carrying out the "dirty work" of expelling, shunning, or attacking dissenters, they are buying into the elitist worldview and justify their actions through viewing the outsiders as "persecutors" who need to be silenced. When outsiders (or insiders who leave) are not seduced into the group, they are maligned and attacked.

Mental health counselor Christine Hammond has identified "spiritual elitism" as a form of narcissism. Hammond describes a group who exhibited signs of elitism:

"They had no grace for differing opinions, no real forgiveness for disloyal behavior, no tolerance for those who didn’t follow their rules, no mercy for people who were suffering – which they viewed as a consequence of poor, unholy choices – and no allowance for individuality."

Hammond goes on to describe 9 characteristics of spiritual elitism, many of which align with behaviors and beliefs that we have explored over the course of this series.

1) Divine Fantasies - alignment with the group means divine favor

2) Superior Humility - leaders claim to be "more humble" than others

3) Sacrificial Admiration - a sense of "martyrdom" characterizes the group - members try to outdo one another in performing acts of sacrifice

4) Untouchable Entitlement - only certain illustrious people earn the favor/attention of the leadership

5) Exploitative of Faults - intolerant of mistakes made by others (while the leader is given plenty of leeway to cause irreparable harm)

6) Righteous Remorse - the organization/leaders can do no wrong or, when they do, immediate forgiveness is required

7) Conditional Empathy - "grace" must be earned

8) Covetous Envy - the leaders purposefully present themselves and their situation as superior to the followers - they are always the model of a "perfect marriage," material wealth, success, etc.

9) Arrogance by Association - elitism rubs off - membership means having the perceived esteem associated with the leader

Go here to read more from Hammond.

Like other lists of attributes and behaviors I have shared in this series, this is not exhaustive and a group does not need to display all these characteristics to be considered "elitist" or having a "persecution mindset." Instead, the list helps us to identify some ways that elitism and narcissism can define and control a group.

In next week's post, we'll explore "lifestyle and experiences" of abusive groups.

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This part of the post may feel "preachy" to some. If that is triggering or unwanted for you, feel free to stop reading here. For those who want to read a Christian response to elitism and persecution-mindsets, here it is.

For Christians, elitism and persecution-thinking are unbecoming since Christ was the One who "humbled himself," becoming like a servant to others.

Philippians 2:5-8 says:

"Let the same mind be in you that was in Christ Jesus,

who, though he was in the form of God, did not regard equality with God as something to be exploited, but emptied himself, taking the form of a slave, being born in human likeness. And being found in human form, he humbled himself and became obedient to the point of death— even death on a cross."

Unfortunately, scriptures like this have been manipulated to make followers bend to a spiritual abuser's will and demands. The claim is that the followers should be "like Jesus" and become servants to the abusive group's mission. The irony is that Christians believe Jesus was God and graciously became a servant to others, while, in abusive groups, abusive leaders make themselves into gods and demand that others serve them and their purposes.

I find hope in the person of Christ who instead of being "elitist," was humble. I place my trust in Jesus who, instead of draining, exploiting, and dominating others, healed them, loved them, and gave his very life for them. I am drawn to faith not by a charismatic leader who intimidates, cajoles, and manipulates, but by the servant Christ who offers himself instead of empty promises.

I believe that a healthy faith is not one propped up by an elitist sense of being the enlightened and holy one in a world of sinners and persecutors. It is not found in obeying the demands of an abusive group that maintains obedience through coercion and control. Instead, I see faith characterized in another scripture important to Christians, 1 Corinthians 13:

"1 If I speak in the tongues of mortals and of angels, but do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give away all my possessions, and if I hand over my body so that I may boast but do not have love, I gain nothing.

4 Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. 7 It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

8 Love never ends. But as for prophecies, they will come to an end; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will come to an end. 9 For we know only in part, and we prophesy only in part; 10 but when the complete comes, the partial will come to an end. 11 When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became an adult, I put an end to childish ways. 12 For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then we will see face to face. Now I know only in part; then I will know fully, even as I have been fully known. 13 And now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; and the greatest of these is love."

These two scriptures can be a type of "litmus test" for abusive groups and churches. Do they lift up Jesus the servant or a narcissistic leader as the model of faith? Do they have love? Is it a manipulative and coercive kind of "love?" Does it offer benefits with inappropriate demands or is it grace? What do the leaders look like?

Many times abusive leaders will masquerade as "servants," but are really exploiting their followers. Pay attention to the facts of the group, not the rhetoric and appearance, and spiritual abuse becomes clear. Spiritual abusers are masters at massaging language and terms to fit their goals. They manipulate rhetoric to coerce people into doing what they want. However, when relationships, roles, and responsibilities are clearly described, I am convinced that spiritual abuse becomes clear.

Thomas Aquinas offered a robust system of "specifying human actions" - basically, a "scientific approach" to categorizing human behaviors in order to morally assess them. He held to the belief that as we describe the conditions of a particular event and the event itself, its "moral species" (category) becomes clear. This is through the establishment of ends, motives, and circumstances. (For those nerdy types, you can read more about this in Joseph Pilsner's The Specifications of Human Actions in St. Thomas Aquinas. A book review of a similar work is available to read here.) My point here is simply that we can do the same work of describing the actions of spiritual groups in order to determine if they are abusive or not.

At the end of the day, life is too short to spend our days in abusive groups that take our time, resources, and peace and give us anxiety, pain, and suffering in return. They rob us of our families, our money, and our faith. They routinely over-promise and under-deliver. All these dynamics become clear over time and all of them fall well short of the "abundant life" Jesus promised in John 10:10. This "abundant life" is not free from suffering or pain - those are parts of life as we all know - but it is free of spiritual domination, manipulation, and coercion at the hands of those Jesus calls "thieves:" people who "steal, kill, and destroy."

The tricky part is that it is oftentimes difficult and painful for members to extricate themselves from groups. Hopefully, this series can be a resource to help identify and acknowledge abusive patterns and leave abusive groups.

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Series Directory:

1) Introduction

2) The Nature of Spiritual Abuse

3) Power & Authority

4) Manipulation & Control

5) Elitism & Persecution

6) Lifestyles & Experiences

7) Dissent & Discipline

8) Exit & Adjustment (forthcoming)

9) What Now? Healing from Spiritual Abuse (forthcoming)

10) How to Deal with a Spiritual Abuser (forthcoming)